Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
For someone who is a parent of an addicted child, we can say that forgiveness is such an easy thing to do for others who have not gone through what we went, or are still going, through.
Nights of restlessness and days of worry–these may just be the life of a parent with an addicted child. Everyday, we live in anguish, fear, embarrassment, disappointment, resentment, guilt, and blame. We wonder just how much longer will it take before our children will realize the full consequences of their addiction.
We see how our children has gradually, seemingly irreversibly changed, and how it has affected us and the rest of our family. Can we forgive our child and ourselves?
The Rocky Path of Forgiveness
Sometimes, we can’t help but blame ourselves for the addiction of our children. We may ask ourselves, “Where did we go wrong?” as we look back at our child when they were little ones, simply playing without a care in what lies ahead in their young lives. We fee regret and even if people tell us that we didn’t cause the addiction, it’s quite hard to believe. In our heart of hearts, we sometimes think that we can cure them, that we know our child and we can cure them. But the reality is, we can’t. We can only forgive them and forgive ourselves.
Here are some insights from Cathy Taughinbaugh of cathytaughinbaugh.com, a mother of a former crystal meth addict in recovery for over six years, to help you in your own path to forgiveness:
1. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone the action.
2. Forgiveness means regaining a sense of wholeness and peace.
3. To withhold Forgiveness, means you remain the victim.
4. When you Forgive, you do it for yourself, not for the other person.
5. Forgiveness means focusing your energy on the healing, not the hurtful action.
6. Compassion leads us to Forgiveness.
7. Healthy relationships need Forgiveness.
8. To be present and available, you need to heal the hurt from the past, and Forgive.
9. Forgiveness allows you to move on with your life.
10. Forgiveness lifts anxiety and depression.
11. Forgiveness means restoring yourself to basic goodness and health.
12. Forgiveness can enhance your self-esteem and give you hope.
13. Forgiveness allows us to restore faith in yourself.
14. Forgiveness is a journey and does mean that you will forget, but you can still forgive.
15. Forgiveness means we give up resentment, revenge and obsession.
16. Forgiveness allows us the freedom to begin many new and healthy life choices.
17. Forgiveness allows us to let go of the past hurts, as well as confusion.
18. Forgiveness does not mean you must continue a relationship with someone causing you harm.
19. Forgiveness allows us to let go and detach with love.
20. Forgiveness keeps ourselves in the flow of good.
21. No one benefits more from Forgiveness that the one who Forgives.
22. Forgiveness is the key to our happiness.
23. Forgiveness helps us make peace with the past.
24. Forgiveness helps us create a new future.
25. Forgiveness is a gift that one gives another.
26. Forgiveness helps us on our path to serenity.
Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves so we can heal and live a happy life unburdened by the past and looking forward to a better tomorrow, a tomorrow of hope.
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