Life is hard. It doesn\u2019t matter if you\u2019re living in a huge mansion or standing in line at a soup kitchen, the truth of the matter is, not many of us are given the tools while growing up to cope with the many stressors in our lives. But, there are people out there who seem to have an idea of how to stay optimistic in these changing times. I spent much of my adult life perplexed by their good natures, and even more confused by their good will, until I learned that there were principles \u2013 and, by principles, I mean universal truths \u2013 that I could apply to my own life and literally change how I felt, not only about myself, but about the world around me.<\/p>\n
Some of them seem like common sense, but you need to understand going into the exercise that reading these principles and actually practicing them in your day-to-day lives are two entirely different things (and that the latter requires vigilance and willingness). The phrase, \u201ceasier said than done\u201d applies here. But, the truth is, if you\u2019re reading this, then chances are you\u2019re in the same place I was when I first discovered these practices; and that means you\u2019re ready.<\/p>\n
Here are the 12 Spiritual Principles I try to live by on a daily basis:<\/p>\n
1. ACCEPTANCE<\/strong><\/p>\nThere\u2019s this thing called The Serenity Prayer which goes something like this: God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.<\/em>What painful, awful thing in your life are you accepting that, in all truth, you can actually change?<\/strong> Once you deeply accept that only you have the power to move forward in your life, then you can take the action to do it. But there are also things that you cannot change, and the work here is to accept that you can\u2019t manage that situation or this person or that thing. There is power in powerlessness also, because it frees you from conflict and allows you to enjoy the rest of your life with real aplomb.<\/p>\n2. LIVE YOUR TRUTH<\/strong><\/p>\nYou\u2019d be surprised how many lies I told myself and how many times I suffered because of them. Indeed, the lies I told myself fed into the lies I told other people and left me isolated when all I ever craved was connection. Can you believe that? My cure for loneliness was isolation. But I changed all of that when I started to speak my own truth and gave the people around me the opportunity to truly know who I was and what I stood for. We live in fear of what other people will think or say about us, but do you really want those kinds of people in your life today?<\/strong> Tell your truth; embrace who you are and let the naysayers know that, if it\u2019s going to make a difference as to whether they love you or not, then it should start making a difference Now.<\/p>\n3. REMAIN GRATEFUL<\/strong><\/p>\nI have a friend who, for one morning every month, pretends to be blind. He wakes without opening his eyes, fumbles his way to his kitchen to make coffee then heads off to the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. He eats a bowl of cold cereal and dresses himself and doesn\u2019t allow himself to open his eyes until he gets behind the wheel of his car to go to work. And he does this so that he can live in gratitude of the many gifts in his life, least among which is the gift of sight. I try to practice gratitude also, although not with as much verve as my friend; but I recognize that, in today\u2019s world, it is easy to become entitled and walk around with a sense of indignation and lose sense of the things that really matter, and fall away from gratitude. Everything in your life is worth exploring<\/strong>, whether it be the fact that you can walk and run or the knowledge that, if it ever gets to be too much, the world is designed to accommodate you and help you not feel so abandoned or alone.<\/p>\n4. HAVE FAITH IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS<\/strong><\/p>\nWe come into the world, each of us, with our own baggage (sometimes it\u2019s an abandonment issue; sometimes it\u2019s simple trust issues, etcetera). We acquire these as children, but we discover that these lessons no longer serve us in adulthood, and we become forced to re-parent or reeducate ourselves. Part of this means learning how to trust our friends and partners and spouses. These relationships are important and you need to think of them as a carefully concocted stew of love and patience and understanding. When we distrust the people closest to us, what we are actually doing is adding negative ingredients to the pot<\/strong> \u2013 jealousy, possessiveness, suspicion . . . of course, they are going to react in a negative fashion. And we are often shocked when conflict arises, but it is conflict that could have been avoided if we\u2019d made a conscious decision to come from a place of love than one of antagonism and unrest. People are sometimes going to let you down. This is a fact of life. But it is our responsibility to not create an arena for them to do so<\/strong>.<\/p>\n5. BE OF SERVICE<\/strong><\/p>\nMy wife is an amazing woman. I am in awe of her, but still got a bit resentful one night when I did the dinner dishes and didn\u2019t get so much as a thank you when all was said and done. It was then that I realized that I was looking for a payoff for simply being of service, and that was when my life changed. It isn\u2019t an act of kindness if you expect something for it, and once you remove the payoff from the equation, you will find yourself catapulted to the next level of true selflessness<\/strong>, and that is the understanding that the reward for loving is loving; the reward for being of service is being of service. And the self-esteem that comes from reaching out and helping other people is invaluable. Because it gets you out of your own head and helps you not feel overwhelmed by problems or other concerns. It helps you feel connected.<\/p>\n6. LAUGH AT YOURSELF<\/strong><\/p>\nIt never ceases to amaze me how sensitive I am. People who care about me \u2013 who I know absolutely love me \u2013 will sometimes point out one of my idiosyncrasies or talk about something stupid I did in mixed company and, for a long time, it would hurt my feelings and I would over-react. Granted, we all need to monitor how we are perceived (you don\u2019t get a second chance at first impressions), but learning how to laugh at yourself can help build stronger relationships<\/strong>. Your family and friends should not be made to feel as though they need to walk on eggshells around you; it\u2019s up to You to create a safe, non-judgmental space for those around you because it is only in this space that you can experience the joy of authentic laughter. And, the fact of the matter is, I can\u2019t possibly be the only one to leave a public restroom with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe.<\/p>\n7. LIVE IN THE MOMENT<\/strong><\/p>\nYour past is inescapable, your future is unavoidable, but your present is forever unrestrained. We sometimes spend more time obsessing over things that have happened and dreading some unforeseen future that we forget the simple truth that, right now, in this moment, we are okay. No matter what is happening, even now \u2013 reading this \u2013 you are okay. Take a breath. Enjoy this one, perfect moment, because it is yours.<\/strong> You have plans and obligations, sure, but we\u2019re not there yet; right now, it\u2019s just us, living in this wonderful moment, and reveling in the fact that, in and of ourselves, we are complete, we are worthy of connection, and we are enough. When things get hectic, remind yourself of this and get centered. Only in the moment are we ever our perfect selves.<\/p>\n8. PRACTICE RESTRAINT OF PEN AND TONGUE<\/strong><\/p>\nThis was a hard one for me to learn. But then I realized that a lot of the conflict in my life was of my own design. I had to adopt a new way of relating to other people. I had to ask myself, \u201cDoes this need to be Said?\u201d, then, \u201cDoes this need to be said Now?\u201d and finally, \u201cDoes this need to be said By Me?\u201d<\/strong> The three simple questions, in one fell stroke, eliminated so much pain and drama in my life that it left a huge space in my life that could only be filled with a new influx of love and understanding. Not only did people suddenly want to be around me, but the problems that I thought could only be managed by me seemed to work themselves out on their own. I had, for lack of a better term, inadvertently learned how to get out of God\u2019s way.<\/p>\n9. LEARN TO FORGIVE<\/strong><\/p>\nThis one\u2019s a hard pill to swallow, because I\u2019m not a huge advocate of \u201cTurn The Other Cheek\u201d; I believe that you have to talk about (and really process) some wrongs that have been done to you before you can get to the part where forgiveness is possible. But, I also believe that it gets easier every time you do it<\/strong>, and that the emotional work involved is worth the effort it takes to get there. Some transgressions are unforgivable, true. But most aren\u2019t. Bear in mind, I am not telling you to run out and forgive everyone; I am telling you to LEARN to forgive, because that\u2019s where the spiritual growth will come from: it will come from the journey toward forgiveness.<\/p>\n10. REMAIN TEACHABLE<\/strong><\/p>\nI have a friend who is a huge naysayer when it comes to new concepts and ideas. The simple truth is, he\u2019s so busy seeing THROUGH everything that he can\u2019t See ANYTHING. And, sadly, as a result, he will always be right where I left him, because his capacity for growth is stunted by his inability to embrace new ideas. But this doesn\u2019t have to be YOU. Allow yourself to have an open mind.<\/strong> Accept that even the worst-dressed person at the party may have something interesting to say to you and put your hand out to say hello. Rediscover your sense of wonder. No matter how old you are, the world still has a lot to show you. We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having very Human experiences. Avail yourself to each and every one.<\/p>\n11. EVERYTHING YOU CAME HERE LOOKING FOR, YOU CAME HERE LOOKING WITH<\/strong><\/p>\nI cannot tell you how much time and energy I wasted searching for some sort of outside \u201cthing\u201d to fix me. And everywhere I went, the answer was always the same: We\u2019re Perfect. In and of ourselves, we are whole and complete. Inner Peace comes from accepting this as Your Truth. Granted, there are things about ourselves that we can change, and there are outside things that we can acquire that will enrich the quality of our lives, but none of those things are the destination of any spiritual journey; every spiritual journey is designed to help you find yourself. Because it is only when you\u2019ve found, accepted, and learned to love Your Self that you are capable of connecting with anything else<\/strong>, whether it\u2019s other people, your family, or a God of your own understanding. Believe it.<\/p>\n12. BE COURAGEOUS IN LIFE<\/strong><\/p>\nMaya Angelou is a celebrated American author and poet who once taught that Courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without it, you cannot practice any of the others consistently. It takes Courage to Love. It takes Courage to be Honest and to speak your own Truth. It takes Courage to Forgive. It takes Courage to Reach Out and Help Other People. The list goes on and on. I had to learn very early on how not to let Fear dictate my behavior ; I had to learn how to not let Fear inform my decisions. You can do this, too. I promise you. It\u2019s in you. If you\u2019re reading this, then you\u2019re ready to take a few chances and truly Grow. And, if worse comes to worst, keep this in mind: A Turtle cannot walk \u2013 it cannot move forward \u2013 unless it sticks its neck out.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nRecovery may not be easy, but IT IS POSSIBLE.<\/p>\n
Call us today to know how you can change your life for the better:<\/p>\n
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