She shares, “Make my hindsight your insight and save yourself the trouble and heartache I suffered.”<\/p>\n
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Let’s explore her story and maybe we can all learn from it:<\/p>\n
Everything always makes more sense in retrospect. I know that as much as the next person. Even so, I cringe thinking about how much trouble and heartache I could have saved myself when I got sober if I had known then, what I know now.<\/p>\n
Then again, part of the disease is lacking that rationale and slowly finding your way back. I had no desire to realize certain things right away, so I didn\u2019t. Instead, I made my life a living hell for the first few months. Only as I started to slowly acknowledge these things did I find an inner peace of sorts.<\/p>\n
1. It won\u2019t always be easy.<\/strong> Even after 21 months of sobriety I still have \u201cpoor me\u201d days. In fact, I started sobbing in front of my boyfriend a few days ago simply because I hate that I can\u2019t handle alcohol like a normal person. In my experience, nothing even provokes these episodes. They just happen because every day cannot be simple. If every day was simple, then sobriety wouldn\u2019t be so damn hard. But I\u2019ve found that for every \u201cpoor me\u201d day, there are 99 \u201clucky me\u201d days.<\/p>\n
2. Not everyone will approve or understand.<\/strong> I\u2019ve been lucky in that most everyone in my life has been supportive. But still, there is always the occasional person who just doesn\u2019t comprehend that I can\u2019t have \u201cjust one.\u201d Maybe they didn\u2019t know me when I drank, or maybe they just don\u2019t care. Either way, learning to say \u201cno\u201d in a sometimes-aggressive manner has been necessary. I\u2019ve learned that people need to know where I stand, and it\u2019s not up to them to pass judgment.<\/p>\n
3. It always gets better.<\/strong> I was pretty convinced that life as I knew it was ending when I got sober. I didn\u2019t think that I would ever be as happy as I was when I was using, or that life would ever seem as bright. But guess what? I still do everything I did pre-sobriety, minus the drinking. I even have fun while sober. (*gasp*)<\/p>\n
4. Not everyone you lose is a loss.<\/strong> As with any lifestyle change, sobriety will affect friendships. While not everyone necessarily loses people, relationships will likely shift. I do wish I had known this, but I don\u2019t think it would have mattered. If my new life choices don\u2019t appeal to someone, then they likely weren\u2019t in my life for the right reasons and their presence probably wasn\u2019t beneficial. That doesn\u2019t mean losing people can\u2019t hurt, though. It certainly can.<\/p>\n
5. It\u2019s not weak to let people help you.<\/strong> I\u2019ve always prided myself on being independent and able to solve most of what life throws at me on my own. I had an extremely negative view of admitting weaknesses and asking for help, so I rarely did so. This sums up the first month of recovery for me. I refused to let anyone in and chose to shut down when they tried. This became exhausting, and I realized it was a battle I wasn\u2019t going to win on my own. I still struggle to ask for help, but it\u2019s gotten easier. It\u2019s a process.<\/p>\n
6. Denial is powerful, but acceptance is more powerful.<\/strong> I occasionally return to speak at the treatment center where I got sober. Once my counselor told me that I was the last person she ever expected to come back willingly based on my first month there, and definitely the last person she expected to want to stay sober. Since I was initially forced into treatment, I was in denial about having a problem. It would have been many more months, even years, before I came to that conclusion on my own. Even though deep down I knew that I did not drink like a normal person, I denied having any real problem, and that was a driving force in my inability to make any progress. It sounds clich\u00e9, but it was only once I accepted that I had a problem that I was able to move forward.<\/p>\n
7. Sobriety leads to crossing paths with some incredible (and some not so incredible) people.<\/strong> I\u2019ve met my share of both. There\u2019s always an inexplicable bond present when I meet someone young who is also sober. While others may try to understand, they never really will. People who are sober understand on another level because they\u2019ve been through similar struggles. While most people are kind and understanding, there are some people in sobriety who don\u2019t want to be there and make that known. In that case, I steer clear unless I think I can say something that will click for them.<\/p>\n
8. Complacency is dangerous.<\/strong> Sometimes I get lazy, and I don\u2019t go to a meeting or write for a few weeks. I start to notice this itch creeping in, this desire to do something, anything impulsive\u2014the same feeling I would get before a night of drinking. Staying ahead of my addiction is vital, if I want to maintain sobriety. I love the saying, \u201cThe first thing you put ahead of your sobriety will be the second thing you lose.\u201d It\u2019s true. Complacency is a very dangerous place to reside.<\/p>\n
9. There\u2019s no better high than a life you\u2019re proud of.<\/strong> In my first week of sobriety, someone told me, \u201cYou won\u2019t believe how fulfilling your life can be when you\u2019re sober.\u201d I doubted it. I loved getting drunk because the high allowed me to forget about everything else pressing or shameful in my life. I don\u2019t have that problem today. It is refreshing to have nothing to hide from in my life. I\u2019m proud of where I am and who I am, because I put a hell of a lot of work into becoming that person.<\/p>\n
10. Sobriety will never be a regret.<\/strong> \u00a0I regret so many things I did while drinking. So many. But I do not regret one day of sobriety, and that\u2019s a pretty damn good feeling.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"