When is enough truly enough? When is the time to throw in the towel? Can leaving the addict that you love really the answer?
Choosing to walk away from any relationship is difficult. It can be overwhelmingly painful and heart-wrenching.
But what are you to do? Time and again, you have given your spouse every chance to change, but everything is in vain. It’s a mix of emotions that no one else can explain–unless you’re someone who is in love with an addict.
Image source: www.addictionblog.org
Leaving the addict in your life
If you are thinking about leaving a husband, wife, or partner who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, heaven knows you have tried everything you possibly can. You may have even thought about leaving them many times in the past, but it’s all in vain. But you know this time you really have to make a decision. It’s time to weigh your options.
You may find yourself in a deadlock, unable to leave them, for some reasons such as the ones below:
- Fear of the future on your own
- Fear of being alone
- Believing that your kids need to have their parents together
- Losing the breadwinner in the family if the addict is the one bringing in more income to the household
- Fear or retaliation
- Hanging on to hope that things will go back to normal
- Family and social pressure to stick together
- Bargaining with the loved one
- Hoping that things will be different
- Believing that a failed marriage means personal failure
- Being judged
- Shame and embarrassment
- Poor self-esteem and self-worth
- Religious constraints
- Being threatened by the addict
- Fear that no one will love you anymore
- Feeling of helplessness to seek other options
You can look at your other options and find any of these reasons for making a decision to finally leaving the addict that you love:
- You or other members of your family are physically abused
- You or other members of your family are sexually abused or exploited
- You are overwhelmed and exhausted in dealing with your life with the addict
- You are continually being bullied, manipulated, and disrespected
- They can’t break the cycle despite many attempts at intervention and stints in the rehab
- You don’t even recognize yourself anymore
- You are becoming physically ill
- You are experiencing depression, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder
- The rest of the family is suffering
- You’re tired of walking on eggshells
- Other people’s opinions don’t matter
You have to think about your reasons and your options. Remember, you have to realize that you deserve to be happy, and even the fact that you deserve better.
If you can imagine a better life for yourself, or believe that you can finally have peace of mind once you make the step towards leaving the addict in your life, then go for it.
Remember, you can’t control the addict in your life. You can only control yourself. Once you make a decision, stick by it and get support from people who care around you.
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