Are your friends making you guilty for trying to be sober? Are they telling you that you don’t have to go to rehab because they tried it and it didn’t work for them? Do they tell you that you’ve just been brainwashed by your counselors? Do they go on and on about you being such a kill-joy for not going on a binge with them? It this is the case, then your friends are not helping you.
If your friends are making you feel guilty about abstaining or trying to be sober or going to rehab, it’s not your problem but theirs. Perhaps your courage and commitment to change is making them think about their own substance abuse problems–and they are scared.
Your friends may be making your addiction worse
If your friends are into sports or board games, then there’s a pretty good chance you’re active too and can rack up high scores in Scrabble. If your friends are into drinking coffee or watching weight, then you may have tried it at least once too. More often than not, you and your friends spend time together doing the same things. The same can be said when your friends are using drugs or are into drinking. After all, birds of the same feather flock together.
When your friends are also using, it makes it so much easy for you to use too. You can justify your own compulsions because your friends are doing it too, and there doesn’t seem to be a problem with it. And in cases like this, you and your friends can actually make your substance abuse worse for each other.
Here are the warning signs to look out for to know if your own friends are making your addiction worse:
1. They help you justify your bad behavior. If they are still rooting for you after you drove into a tree the night you got so drunk and drove home, then it’s time to think about the company you keep. Are they cheering for you as you down bottles of beer and Ecstasy? If they aren’t calling you out on this kind of behavior or are even justifying them for you, then they are making your addiction worse.
2. They can’t function sober. If your friends can’t do everyday things, much more function in special occasions, without taking a hit or getting drunk, then it’s more likely that you can’t either.
3. They downplay treatment. Whenever you mention to them that you may have a problem and you want to get help, they discourage you. They mock you, make fun of you, get sarcastic, and just absolutely forbid you to get help.
4. They make you use. They are the ones that call you first to invite you to go out, and you know it’s not just “going out.” They are the ones who hand you the “stuff” for you to try, or urge you to take shots with them.
5. Their life revolves around drugs. They don’t have life outside their addiction. With them, your days are all about finding the next high while the nights are all about partying, and the mornings become a blur or hangovers or coming down. and then trying to get high again.
6. They won’t be friends with you if you get sober. Do they act distant when you tell them you’re trying to get help? Do they get angry when you try to get sober and say you can’t be friends anymore? Have you ever put off getting help before because you’re afraid you’ll lose your friends or have no social life anymore?
True friends will always care. They will always try their best to support you for the best and offer encouragement whenever you’re feeling low. If they can’t be there when you try to be your best, then they aren’t your real friends. Chances are, what’s keeping you together is just drugs or alcohol.
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