Addicts will always come up with an excuse to preserve their addiction. Let’s take a look at a few of these excuses below.
A person’s behavior and thought process dramatically changes from the time he takes his first substance until he becomes dependent. By the time the dependence becomes problematic, he may have already acquired a complex array of defense mechanisms in order to protect his addiction and minimize his progressively irrational behavior and its harmful consequences.
The addict may have already created a relatively strong fortress around himself where he is free to succumb to his compulsions without thinking of the repercussions. Little does he know that he is simply under the thumb of his addiction.
His behavior is far from normal and rational, but this is not his fault alone. His will is eclipsed by the will of his addiction, which is now his reality. As a result, he is on an endless and insatiable quest for gratification regardless of its effect on his mind and body and the consequences to the world around him. He protects himself merely by his denial and by creating excuses that will only perpetuate his addiction.
Below are the most common excuses addicts made when confronted about the destructive behaviors caused by their addiction:
1. What problem? Denial causes the addict to lose touch with reality. So when confronted with a problem that stems out of his addiction, he may act indignant or even vehemently deny it. He may also get hurt and offended by what he perceives as “attacks” on him, and as a result, would resort to more drinking or drug use.
2. I’m not that bad! Addicts would also resort to minimizing or downplaying the problems connected with his addiction. This is in order to adjust the reality that he has created for himself. While he may admit that he has a problem, he would say that you may only be exaggerating things even if there is an ever-growing mountain of evidence to tell him otherwise.
3. It’s not the way it looks. He may also try to rationalize the consequences of his obvious addiction. He will try to come up with other explanations on why he got into an accident or why he got fired from his last job. Any explanation, of course, would point away from the only obvious reason–his addiction.
4. I just need some relief! He would try to justify his addictive behavior and would even feel and project being victimized by those who call him out. He feels like he need some kind of special treatment to the point that he expects people to look the other way as he indulges his addictive behavior.
5. I’m not hurting anybody. He may try to isolate himself in order to take away the issue from the realities of his behavior. He is either unable or unwilling to acknowledge the harm his actions are causing to other people and to himself.
6. It’s my life and I’ll do what I want. He will self-righteously proclaim that no one has a say on what he wants to do, and that only he has the right to his own actions, without even thinking about its consequences to others around him.
7. I’ve been through A LOT! He claims that because he’s gone through some sort of trauma or difficulty he can stake a claim on some special status to invoke some form of self-pity and entitlement.
8. This is me! The addict is unable to distinguish himself from his addiction, and therefore, he can’t imagine a life without his substance. It’s like this is how he really is, and people who care for him have no choice but to take him or leave him.
9. Look who’s talking?! When you try to call him out for his irresponsible and destructive behavior, he might divert the issue from himself by attacking his attacker. This is actually common for addicts–as they have a sharp eye and an even sharper tongue for pointing out the shortcoming of others while they are indifferent of their own.
10. I know what I’m doing. He is blinded by his own denial and therefore thinks he is still in control of himself. He tells everyone that he is aware of what he is doing, but deep inside, he truly can’t control himself anymore.
11. I can stop anytime I want. He believes he is still calling the shots when it comes to his behavior, but unfortunately, that isn’t the case. If he truly wanted to stop, he could’ve stopped and things wouldn’t be so out of control.
12. I’m unhappy, I need [drugs or alcohol]. Any unfortunate or tragic event in his life would be a catalyst for his addictive behavior, and he would continue to believe that he is a victim. He also believes that using or drinking is his only way to cope, or that he deserves some slack after all that has happened to him.
13. I’ll quit tomorrow. Every addict would have said this many times before. And this is all too familiar for the people around him. He may even convince himself that he just can’t stop today or now all because something bad will happen if he did, or that he just needs to get through one day before he quits. However, not everyone who says this ever gets to successfully quit the next day.
14. I’ll change; it will never happen again. After a painful, embarrassing, or unpleasant event caused by his addiction, he may say this to you and you perhaps have always believed it. However, he is only saying this to telly you what you want to hear just to soothe you and so that he will continue on with his ways.
15. It’s your fault! This is also a classic excuse. The addict would often blame his behavior on other people, usually a parent or spouse. It’s like he’s gathering pity from others and justifies his behavior by citing other’s faults and even exaggerating them.
16. After everything I’ve done for you… The addict will try to send you on a guilt trip to deflect the issue from himself. He will enumerate the things he’s done and expect you to thank him for what he does, even the negative ones.
Recent Comments