How Do You Forgive an Addict?

How do you forgive someone who lied, deceived, betrayed, disappointed, and hurt you? How do you forgive someone who turned your life upside down and left you in chaos and despair?

Yes, it’s not easy. It never is.

And for someone who lives with a drug addicted husband, wife, parent or child, the cycle of addiction can be so exhausting that you may not even know if forgiveness and reconciliation are even possible. It doesn’t seem fair: Why would you forgive the addict after everything they have subjected you to?

Learning to Forgive

Forgiveness is essential for us to move on. It takes a lot of courage to move past the fears, anger,pain, despair, sadness, and resentment–emotions that leave us emotionally stuck in a rut.

To be able to fully forgive, you should know these things:

• Forgiveness does not mean excusing or tolerating bad and abusive behavior
• Forgiveness does not mean denial of mistakes
• Forgiveness does not mean disregarding your emotions
• Forgiveness does not mean suppressing what you feel
• Forgiveness does not mean erasing the consequences
• Forgiveness does not mean letting them off the hook
• Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation
• Forgiveness does not mean things are going back to normal or to the way they were

Forgiving is NOT Forgetting

The addict in your life may have caused you and your family a lot of physical, emotional, psychological, and financial damage. As someone who may have been very used to the rollercoaster/merry-go-ride of addiction, the fact that they have accepted help now still leaves a dark cloud hanging over you. It’s hard to trust again and to believe that they have changed for good. It also doesn’t help that you are still holding on to the all-too-familiar feelings of bitterness, suspicion, and many other toxic emotions.

The thing about forgiveness, however, is you don’t have to forget what happened. You take all that has happened to you and make yourself stronger and better. Don’t let it make you jaded about your partner, about your life, and about the world in general. Because if you do, you’re the only one who will lost in the end.

Forgiveness means freeing your heart of the past and moving beyond and forward through the pain so you can give yourself some peace. Don’t hang on to the pain. In time, you will find yourself consumed by all these feelings, and you are the only one imprisoned by it. By not forgiving, you build a prison only for yourself.

Once you know more about addiction and understand the dynamics in the addict’s mind and behavior, you can begin to see the situation from empathetic eyes, instead of angry, judging ones.

Decide to free yourself from the past now. Give yourself and your loved one the break that you both need. Quit tolerating and enabling, but rather give them the help they need. Call or text us at 09175098826.