Addiction is never easy. Not on the addict, and not on the people who love them. Dating an addict can be very challenging, if not outright difficult. However, because you love them, you can’t walk away. You gather more patience, acceptance, and love. You may also feel sorry for the person, hoping to help them change.
Are you really ready to take on the challenge? Take a look at these 10 heartbreaking truths about dating an addict.
1. They can be selfish. The attitude that got them to the addiction often stems from selfishness. They will always prioritize their drug use than add value to your relationship or your life. This can really seem selfish, but it really is the addiction that has taken hold of their decisions and behaviors.
2. They can be volatile. They love you, at least they say they do. There are times when you feel like in the clouds with how great they make you feel, but the next minute, you’ll be in the depths of despair. This is because you always hope things are great, but because of you’re dating an addict, you never really know what you’re going to get. The relationship and the person is volatile.
3. They are emotionally unstable. They take you on a rollercoaster ride and it can all be emotionally exhausting. It’s because dating an addict means you have to be with someone who may also battle with sudden behavioral changes and mood swings.
4. They are scared too. While you’re scared to lose them, they’re scared to lose you too–but not really as much as the thought of losing their drugs or alcohol. They may not realize it fully, but they may stand to lose everything and everyone as long as they have their next fix.
5. They may not always be there. You will feel like you’re alone in the relationship, and in fact you are. Your partner is battling with their own demons while you watch in the sidelines. And you don’t know just how long you can hang on, or how long they will have you around.
6. They can’t be trusted. No matter how much you want to trust them, it always blows up in your face. Even their promises can be hard to believe, after all the other thousands of promises they have probably said to you before.
7. They would lie about money. Among many other things. They can be secretive, deceptive, and manipulative. Money will be one of those things that you may fight about. They will steal money from you, borrow money from others, and sell your stuff just so they have money for drugs.
8. You’d have to deal with their drug addict friends. Dating an addict means you have to be around other addicts. You may not like it, but you have to tolerate it, because you love your partner.
9. They may want you to do drugs with them. When you’re dating an addict, you may want to understand them and try to help them, so you consider trying out the drug for yourself. You may also see this as a way to connect with them and they themselves may want you to try it too.
10. You will always forgive them. Dating an addict requires you to have an endless source of forgiveness and love. It can be difficult and constantly heartbreaking. As you forgive them, you have to also remember to forgive yourself for loving them.
If you find yourself dating an addict, you can of course seek help for them. You can find a comfortable, non-threatening place to talk to them, making sure they’re sober. Then, with honesty but without blame or being preachy, calmly talk to them about their drug use and offer to help them seek treatment.