So you have a friend with drug problem. Is it any of your business? Well, you’re a close friend and you care about their well-being… You’re really concerned about how they’ve been acting… Do their family or loved one know? What if something bad happens to them?
These may just be among the many, many thoughts and hesitations that are going through your mind as you see a friend with drug problem go down a dark, devastating path with substance abuse.
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After all, you’ve seen your friend change before your eyes. Once they have this sparkle, an avid interest in the world around them, a passion for hobbies like baking, running, the outdoors… Now, you’ve noticed them losing a lot of weight, barely sleeping, always sleepy or irritable in your get-togethers. And you’re drifting apart like they don’t want to hang out with you as much anymore.
Before, you just thought your friend was being weird, but now things are clear. You’ve seen how addicts turn out in documentaries or read something about addiction in the papers. While your friend doesn’t really fit the stereotype–after all, they are still able to hold down jobs–you know that everything checks out. Your friend has been using. And if that’s not all, you’ve seen the kind of friends he hangs out with more often these days.These and so many more confirm what you’ve slowly been suspecting.
So what can you do to help your friend? Should you confront them about it?
While it’s always good to show your concern for your friend, you have to approach the idea of confrontation with caution. First of all, confronting a friend with an addiction is serious, difficult, and can strain your already strained relationship. You can also run the risk of losing your friend forever and never talking to them again, or at least make things very awkward for you. Still, something must be done and a talk must be had–if only for their sake.
So how should you confront your friend? Find out with these 3 tried-and-tested tips:
1. Get ready First of all, get to know the facts about the addiction so you can be sure that your friend is in fact addicted. This will also allow you to have a well-informed and convincing case once you approach your friend. Plan what you’re going to say, and make sure that your conversation takes place in somewhere private, somewhere your friend will be comfortable in.
2. Be careful. Be sure that your friend with drug problem is sober with a clear mind when you talk to them. Don’t just confront them when they’re coming down off their high, feeling restless or irritable, or in a bad shape. Make sure to sit down with them and show your concern instead of just being accusatory.
Also be aware of your tone so that they will be open to what you have to say. Choose your words well and phrase them constructively to avoid making an already delicate situation much worse.
3. Take a stand. The last thing you want to do is to enable or condone them. This should also be the time to show them that something has to change and there will be consequences. For example, tell them that you’re not going to help paying for their debts anymore, you’re kicking them out of your couch, or you won’t cover for them anymore.
Whatever happens, make sure that your friend with drug problem also knows his options for rehabilitation and recovery. Let them know that you’re there for them. You can also carefully suggest help for them, such as offering to call a rehab center or urging them to seek help themselves.
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