Dealing with addiction is a whole different animal. By this, we mean to say that addiction is a whole different situation unlike anything any family, relationship, or individual may have to go through. Finding out that your loved one has a substance use disorder, is very difficult. Dealing with someone who is struggling with addiction, whether drug or alcohol, takes a lot out of you.
People suffering from substance abuse disorder may tend to take advantage of people who care for them to support their addiction. They will manipulate, betray, lie, steal, and hurt just to have their way–and at the expense of the people who care for them. And this doesn’t just happen over a course of days or months. This can go on for years. It can drag on for so long that their families will become drained emotionally and financially, and relationships become irreparably broken.
To help prevent such tragedy, we are giving you these 10 things to remember when dealing with addiction.
10 Things to Remember When Dealing with Addiction
1. Maintain your integrity. Everyday can be a battle for survival and sanity when you live with an addict. You are faced with lies, betrayal, manipulation, anger, blame, and even pressure. They may try to coerce you to even use or drink with them just so they have an excuse to continue their ways. Don’t let them succeed. Don’t let yourself get drawn into using and drinking, and don’t succumb in their addiction-led ways.
2. Bargaining won’t work. Believing that they will quit because they love you and that they don’t love you enough that’s why they can’t quit–this way of thinking is unhealthy. The cravings and compulsion–the addiction–is bigger than you, your relationship, your ultimatums. The addiction is even bigger and stronger than his own will.
3. There’s no overnight cure. In the same way that addiction doesn’t develop overnight, there’s also no quick way to get rid of it. It takes a lot of time to develop the habits and the destruction of a person’s life in general. Getting away from this can take a long time. Rebuilding a life can take the rest of their life as well.
4. Stand by them. Standing by them doesn’t mean you should enable them. This only means that you be there to support them, not in their addiction, but in their recovery.
5. Never enable them. Enabling them means you are shielding them from the consequences of their addiction. This let’s them go scot-free without thinking about the consequences of their actions, thereby helping perpetuate their destructive lifestyle.
6. Be careful. Anyone who is under the influence of drugs can be unstable and unpredictable, even if it’s someone you know. Don’t put yourself in a situation wherein you can be mentally or physically abused. Remember, you can’t help anyone if you are in need of help yourself.
7. Find your own support group. You can’t do it alone. You may feel angry, ashamed, embarrassed, or depressed because of your problem. You need someone with you to help you through your own healing and to give you strength through these trying times. You have to give yourself a source of strength also in order for you to live your life, and this is the only way you can also be strong for others.
8. Help them help themselves. Find a rehab program for them. Learn about your options and find out how the program works, what you need to do, how your loved one can best be helped. Be prepared to be supportive as well in the process.
9. Keep in mind positive criticism. When your loved one is now going through rehab or have already finished his treatment and you’re already with them, avoid blame, anger and criticism. Even in any situation, such negative attitudes are never helpful. If you’re also sincere in helping your loved one recover, you should learn to encourage them and find a way to express your fears and feelings in a positive and constructive way.
10. Rehab is not an instant cure. Rehab leads to recovery, which is a lifetime commitment to sobriety and to living positively despite hurdles in life, which are after all inevitable. Keep in mind that recovery is not an individual effort–it also takes a village. By understanding the process of rehabilitation and recovery, you can better offer your own love, support, and hope as your loved one establishes a new and sober life.
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